Sunday, August 17, 2003
IN DENIAL?
I'm going to use the lyrics to 2 songs to help me argue that we are all living in denial and not reality. I will say some things we are in denial of and why.
The lyrics to the first song I’m going to use to show that we 'tune into' the 'mode' of another and support them through their moment of anxiety and extreme denial. This probably sounds confusing but I’m hoping you will catch on by the end of this.
Something that is out of our hands
Something we will never understand
It's a hidden law
The apple falls
Destiny calls
I follow you
Like a pawn on the eternal board
Who's never quite sure what he's moved towards
I walk blindly on
And heaven is in front of me
Your heaven beckons me enticingly
When I arrive it's gone
The river flows
The wise man knows
I follow you
I'm using this to highlight how we react spontaneously without thinking. Something triggers us. Maybe the voice. I tested this on myself by seeing who I would give a cigarette to when asked. Some people would have me hand them one before I even realized it and to others I would flatly say no. But a better way to explain this reaction I think is to think about movies. We see actors playing out a situation and 99% of them are situations we have seen and heard in stories and movies a thousand times before. We 'tune in' - we recognize the game that is being played- we think -"aha. I know where this is going." or we understand the thoughts and emotions behind a silent facial expression-we anticipate their reaction from putting ourself in their place or reacting the way we are taught to react by TV itself. I'm using this to show that the actor's are in a "mode" according to the situation they are acting out. We generally recognize this mode and know the familiar game being played. In real life their are greater stories and scenarios being played out of which we are like "pawns on the eternal board"- we react spontaneously to a situation because our brain subconsciously recognizes the mode or game being acted out and we play along-"who's never quite sure what he's moved towards I walk blindly on."
I will bring this in later for my argument on denial.
Denial with regard to appearance:
Scenario. Wife just gets her hair done at the salon. She needs more than that to improve her looks. In fact the hair dew didn’t help at all. "Honey how do you like my hair?" actually he's supposed to comment on that without being prompted. "It looks great honey." In this scenario the wife is not daft she is just in denial. She herself knows the hair dew isn’t so hot but needs her husband to support her in her act of denial. So she asks "really? You mean it? You re not just saying that?" Husband has to answer "yes. I mean it. You look beautiful." 2nd lie but said convincingly. Your convincing lie reassures and communicates that you still love her and defend her lies. Just think how devastated she would be if he flat out said how bad it really looked. It would crush her being very fragile and sensitive to your remarks at this moment.
This is one example of how we live lies denying the truth, and as humans support each other with their denial hang-ups contributing to the denial by validating the lie as truth.
The biggest reason for living in denial is the truth is too painful. In many cases unbearable. Reality is too much as the lyrics to this next depressing song brings out.
That there
that's not me
I go, where I please
I walk through walls
I float down the liffey
I’m not here
this isn't happening
I’m not here
I’m not here
in a little while I’ll be gone
the moment's already passed
yeah, it's gone
yeah, it's gone
yeah, it's gone
strobe lights and blown speakers
fireworks and hurricanes
I’m not here
this isn't happening
I’m not here
I’m not here
I’m not here
You are probably thinking that me listening to this crazy music explains why I’m so messed up. But this guy is obviously in serious denial. This world is too much. Human beings were not designed to handle reality so we block it out. The death of someone we love, suffering or mistreatment of someone we love, terminal illness, the frustration of not being able to reach out a hand to someone in need, the frustration and anger of having to act as enemies to people we love.
On a less depressing note other realities we deny: whether or not your spouse is in love with you still
As stated before the 'your so beautiful lie'-or even sexy lie
And lies for self esteem-the' your so cool lie.'
People support us in our living imaginary personas so that we survive emotionally. Underneath we know the lies and the truth will inevitably surface or explode in a seemingly normal scene of make believe. This is a reality many are running from. That embarrassing moment of exposure.
The ugly side of living in denial is the lengths that some people will go to in defending their egos or imaginary personas. Many won't give a second thought to hurting innocent people. In fact their sick denying minds will convince them that the victim deserved it "isn’t that right honey? Well? Isn’t it?"
"Yes dear. Is there anyone else you want to be beat up or kill in defense of your sick life of lies?" "What was that?" "Nothing dear." "That’s what I thought."
The original scene where someone approaches us and we start talking or moving spontaneously: We may sense the desperation in the voice and recognize a sense of urgency or the will of a higher power is coming to completion or in play. The desperation in the voice of the one approaching us is most likely desperate because of the consequences of failure to make something happen. He is probably going against all odds and his own life may be at stake. Sensing the seriousness we are compliant.
Sometimes someone desperate will engage us in a conversation. We engage in the conversation with seriousness even if it is about something really stupid or ridiculous because we sense the need in this human being. This conversation is a form of denial. The person is really asking for your emotional support to help him face the task before him and deny the possible failure consequences.
Do you deny the fact that this world is in serious trouble? Are you lost in meaningless conversations with people who are also in denial for various reasons? Or acting as lambs to the slaughter because we are too afraid to accept and try to alter the outcome to be triumphant?
I have determined to stop smoking. I am on day 9 using a drug called Zyban-bupropion hydrochloride-150mg (recommended by a friend) wish me luck.
I'm going to use the lyrics to 2 songs to help me argue that we are all living in denial and not reality. I will say some things we are in denial of and why.
The lyrics to the first song I’m going to use to show that we 'tune into' the 'mode' of another and support them through their moment of anxiety and extreme denial. This probably sounds confusing but I’m hoping you will catch on by the end of this.
Something that is out of our hands
Something we will never understand
It's a hidden law
The apple falls
Destiny calls
I follow you
Like a pawn on the eternal board
Who's never quite sure what he's moved towards
I walk blindly on
And heaven is in front of me
Your heaven beckons me enticingly
When I arrive it's gone
The river flows
The wise man knows
I follow you
I'm using this to highlight how we react spontaneously without thinking. Something triggers us. Maybe the voice. I tested this on myself by seeing who I would give a cigarette to when asked. Some people would have me hand them one before I even realized it and to others I would flatly say no. But a better way to explain this reaction I think is to think about movies. We see actors playing out a situation and 99% of them are situations we have seen and heard in stories and movies a thousand times before. We 'tune in' - we recognize the game that is being played- we think -"aha. I know where this is going." or we understand the thoughts and emotions behind a silent facial expression-we anticipate their reaction from putting ourself in their place or reacting the way we are taught to react by TV itself. I'm using this to show that the actor's are in a "mode" according to the situation they are acting out. We generally recognize this mode and know the familiar game being played. In real life their are greater stories and scenarios being played out of which we are like "pawns on the eternal board"- we react spontaneously to a situation because our brain subconsciously recognizes the mode or game being acted out and we play along-"who's never quite sure what he's moved towards I walk blindly on."
I will bring this in later for my argument on denial.
Denial with regard to appearance:
Scenario. Wife just gets her hair done at the salon. She needs more than that to improve her looks. In fact the hair dew didn’t help at all. "Honey how do you like my hair?" actually he's supposed to comment on that without being prompted. "It looks great honey." In this scenario the wife is not daft she is just in denial. She herself knows the hair dew isn’t so hot but needs her husband to support her in her act of denial. So she asks "really? You mean it? You re not just saying that?" Husband has to answer "yes. I mean it. You look beautiful." 2nd lie but said convincingly. Your convincing lie reassures and communicates that you still love her and defend her lies. Just think how devastated she would be if he flat out said how bad it really looked. It would crush her being very fragile and sensitive to your remarks at this moment.
This is one example of how we live lies denying the truth, and as humans support each other with their denial hang-ups contributing to the denial by validating the lie as truth.
The biggest reason for living in denial is the truth is too painful. In many cases unbearable. Reality is too much as the lyrics to this next depressing song brings out.
That there
that's not me
I go, where I please
I walk through walls
I float down the liffey
I’m not here
this isn't happening
I’m not here
I’m not here
in a little while I’ll be gone
the moment's already passed
yeah, it's gone
yeah, it's gone
yeah, it's gone
strobe lights and blown speakers
fireworks and hurricanes
I’m not here
this isn't happening
I’m not here
I’m not here
I’m not here
You are probably thinking that me listening to this crazy music explains why I’m so messed up. But this guy is obviously in serious denial. This world is too much. Human beings were not designed to handle reality so we block it out. The death of someone we love, suffering or mistreatment of someone we love, terminal illness, the frustration of not being able to reach out a hand to someone in need, the frustration and anger of having to act as enemies to people we love.
On a less depressing note other realities we deny: whether or not your spouse is in love with you still
As stated before the 'your so beautiful lie'-or even sexy lie
And lies for self esteem-the' your so cool lie.'
People support us in our living imaginary personas so that we survive emotionally. Underneath we know the lies and the truth will inevitably surface or explode in a seemingly normal scene of make believe. This is a reality many are running from. That embarrassing moment of exposure.
The ugly side of living in denial is the lengths that some people will go to in defending their egos or imaginary personas. Many won't give a second thought to hurting innocent people. In fact their sick denying minds will convince them that the victim deserved it "isn’t that right honey? Well? Isn’t it?"
"Yes dear. Is there anyone else you want to be beat up or kill in defense of your sick life of lies?" "What was that?" "Nothing dear." "That’s what I thought."
The original scene where someone approaches us and we start talking or moving spontaneously: We may sense the desperation in the voice and recognize a sense of urgency or the will of a higher power is coming to completion or in play. The desperation in the voice of the one approaching us is most likely desperate because of the consequences of failure to make something happen. He is probably going against all odds and his own life may be at stake. Sensing the seriousness we are compliant.
Sometimes someone desperate will engage us in a conversation. We engage in the conversation with seriousness even if it is about something really stupid or ridiculous because we sense the need in this human being. This conversation is a form of denial. The person is really asking for your emotional support to help him face the task before him and deny the possible failure consequences.
Do you deny the fact that this world is in serious trouble? Are you lost in meaningless conversations with people who are also in denial for various reasons? Or acting as lambs to the slaughter because we are too afraid to accept and try to alter the outcome to be triumphant?
I have determined to stop smoking. I am on day 9 using a drug called Zyban-bupropion hydrochloride-150mg (recommended by a friend) wish me luck.
